The Conflict that Became Mine

Two days ago I got back from a workshop where I worked with a group of 35 Syrians. We had Sunnis and Alawis, Christians, Kurds and a Palestinian: a few were regime supporters, a few supported revolutionaries; yet most were critical of both armed sides and wanted to rebuild their society. Yet they all came together in the end, and I do believe that many of them will continue working for peace.

As they say, ignorance is a bliss. Knowing everything I know now about the Syrian conflict, how deep the fear and the pain runs, how fragmented the society is, I would probably be scared to take the responsibility we took and think that we can work with that group. Now looking back, it is hard for me to imagine that we walked into this conflict assuming we could contribute anything. Had I known all I know now, I would have probably never dared to take on this workshop.

During that week in the Lebanese mountains, we adapted Imagine’s methodology tested primarily in the Armenian-Azerbaijani and Turkish-Armenian conflicts (www.imaginedialogue.com) to the service of the Syrian case. This was an emotional experience where our team of three facilitators and our methodology were tested to our limits, where we had to throw in all our creativity, flexibility, energy, emotions, and everything else we had to make this work. And I should say, I am proud of Imagine and of everything we do as despite the extremely hard journey, the group ended up having all the hard conversations about the conflict they needed to have, yet also bonded and is ready to work for peace.

Looking back, I am surprised how strong we, as facilitators, stood during the workshop in believing in the group, in our approach, and in ourselves at times when it looked like everything has failed, that we do not have a right methodology for this conflict. And how glad I am now that we did what we did, as in the end, the group had an experience that turned the relationships on their head. The last reflection session was a validation of what Imagine tries to do: empower the group to take ownership of the conflict, to bring into open and articulate the stories that support the conflict, the present-day needs and fears, and their vision of the future. Many participants said that they achieved more than they hoped for when coming in and that they now also see how each piece of the process, every single activity, every single conversation contributed to them getting where they were. And the place they were, despite everything they would have to face after going back home, was that they regained lost hope. For me, this program was probably the biggest validation of Imagine’s philosophy working in a very different and very challenging context.

I am also amazed by the participants who, despite all the pain that they carry, threw themselves fully into the experience and every step of it, and were also very creative and artistic. To bring just one example: when we were discussing the present day needs and fears of different segments of the Syrian society, a very tense and hard conversation, they turned to art. One of the groups started it with a very profound and heartbreaking song about the conflict that united everyone; the other had a colorful poster presentation with hearts, balloons, and maps; the third group made a theater presentation out of it; and the fourth group kept building a house of blocks as their presentation was going on as a symbol of their commitment to keep rebuilding their country no matter how bad the situation is. They would break the house they just built every time the conversation took a negative turn, and would start rebuilding it again and again and again.

On the personal level, this program shook me profoundly. I started it as a trainer and for the first 4 days did not connect much personally. But then gradually, their personal tragedies, the fear in which they live in, their team spirit, their commitment to work for peace no matter what got to me. In the last two days, I felt that the conflict became mine also, that having shared this experience, I now am part of this conflict. This conflict now is also my responsibility.

This has been a tremendous learning experience. Yet as one of the participants said during our last reflection session, a lot happened with us last week that we still did not have time to process; it will probably take a few months for each of us to realize the full extent of this experience.