Life After S-CAR: Transforming Community Through Mediation
Many in our community know of the certifications and trainings that Northern Virginia Mediation Service (NVMS) offers conflict practitioners in mediation, facilitation, and other conflict management skills. What some may not know is that NVMS also offers a variety of conflict resolution services to the community at low or no cost.
As a graduate of S-CAR, it is exciting to have the opportunity to work as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Program Manager for the Mediation program at NVMS. I have the fortune of working for an organization that applies conflict resolution theory to everyday practices, helping the community to address conflict in a healthy and collaborative way.
Some people see mediation as similar to counseling, while others think of it as another form of arbitration. I think mediation is about providing a safe space for people to work through extremely difficult and emotional situations. Mediation gives control of outcomes back to the parties and is a process within which their feelings receive consideration, and one that also helps to keep their dignity intact.
Mediation, for instance, can provide siblings a space to have a constructive conversation around the care of their aging parents; it can facilitate more effective communication between a child (or adult) and his or her parents; it can even turn divorce into a collaborative and honest process.
People come to NVMS during some of life’s most challenging crises, which I see particularly in divorce cases. It is also in these cases that I see some of the most positive impacts of mediation. In many cases, I notice a strong sense of urgency from parties who want to get through their divorce as fast as possible. Understandably so, given the highly stressful nature of divorces.
The major frustration in such cases is that in order to move on, many parties need to make very difficult decisions. An added difficulty is that parties must agree on these decisions or have the court system render a decision for them. The way these decisions are managed will impact the parties for the rest of their lives, especially when children are involved. When children are involved, in most cases, the parents will continue to have a connection. Thus, maintaining a level of respect in their relationship will affect how healthy and constructive the communication will be in the future on important issues related to their children.
NVMS provides a service that allows people to avoid litigation, a custody or divorce ‘battle,’ and to work collaboratively on learning how to successfully live apart. NVMS is also a creative organization: it is always finding innovative ways to apply dispute resolution services to address new conflict situations faced by conflict practitioners and members of the community. Our newest community initiatives include the Restorative Justice and Elder Mediation programs.
Below is a small snapshot of our accomplishments in the past year:
- 950+ citizens were provided mediation services in local courts.
- 87 families, 175 adults, and dozens of children were helped through the strife of separation by mediation.
- 186 students, parents, and others were helped through restorative justice conferences, over half of which were bullying cases.
- 688 individuals participated in our trainings, including many volunteers and interns who could not otherwise afford to pay.
It is exciting to be a part of an organization through which I can apply the knowledge I gained at S-CAR and be at the intersection of theory and practice.
To learn more about Northern Virginia Mediation Service, and for training, internship and volunteer opportunities, visit our website: http://www.nvms.us/